Burden Lifted

Yesterday afternoon I finished my Step Five and walked out to my car. I sat there for a few minutes just breathing. Something I'd been carrying for months – maybe years – was gone. I couldn't quite name what had changed but I felt physically lighter as if someone had removed weight I'd been carrying.

I feel like someone lifts a big burden from my shoulders. This describes it perfectly. The burden of secrets. The burden of shame. The burden of carrying everything alone. The burden of pretending I'm fine when I'm not. All of it lifted by the simple act of sharing honestly with another person and with God.

The burden didn't lift because someone solved my problems or fixed my character defects. It lifted because I stopped carrying the weight of hiding them. The secrets themselves were the burden. The isolation was the weight. When I shared everything out loud when I broke the isolation the burden fell away.

Now I understand why people say Step Five is where they feel the program really working. This is where the burden lifts. This is where freedom begins.