Step Four teaches us to take a thorough look at ourselves, the positives as well as the negatives.
I dreaded Step Four because I thought I already knew what it would find. I'd been keeping an inventory my whole life — just only the bad half. Every flaw catalogued, every mistake replayed. I didn't need a Step to tell me what was wrong with me. I could do that in my sleep.
What I couldn't do was name what was right. When my sponsor asked me to list my strengths, I went blank. Not because I don't have any — but because somewhere along the way, I decided I didn't deserve to claim them. Owning a defect felt honest. Owning a strength felt like arrogance.
That's the real discovery of Step Four. The defects weren't news. The surprise was how aggressively I'd hidden my own worth from myself — and how much courage it took to write it down. Naming what's wrong with me was habit. Naming what's right required a kind of honesty I'd never practiced.
Before listing a single defect, I can start my inventory with five strengths. If that feels harder than listing flaws, that's worth noticing.
Today’s Reminder
The bravest part of my inventory was claiming what's good.
Carry this peace in your pocket.
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Curated by members of the Al-Anon community for Daily Growth, LLC. Grounded in the Twelve Steps and the contemplative tradition of Al-Anon.