Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Having become entirely ready in Step Six to have our defects of character removed, we take a natural and active step forward in Step Seven. Step Seven states that we "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings".
Where Step Six focused on cultivating willingness and releasing self-will, Step Seven invites us to put that acceptance into direct action. Having identified our character defects in our inventory and recognized that we are powerless to eliminate them on our own, we turn calmly to the God of our understanding, placing our trust in a Power greater than ourselves to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves.
Understanding True Humility Versus Humiliation
For many of us in Al-Anon, the word "humbly" at the beginning of Step Seven can feel intimidating or confusing. Living alongside the disease of alcoholism often subjected us to mistreatment, leaving us with damaged self-esteem and a lingering fear that humility means groveling, begging, or suffering further humiliation.
In Al-Anon, we learn that humiliation is a form of emotional distress that has no place in our spiritual growth. True humility, by contrast, is not a position of weakness, inferiority, or submission, but a state of genuine spiritual strength and self-acceptance. Humility simply means seeing ourselves in true relationship to God and to our fellow human beings—neither superior nor inferior, but equal. It allows us to recognize our limitations with honesty while honoring our inherent worth and character assets.
Simply Asking Without Begging or Demanding
When we take Step Seven, we learn a new way of communicating with our Higher Power. In the past, many of us used frantic prayers to bargain with God, demand immediate results, or dictate exactly how a problem should be solved.
Step Seven shows us that true humility allows us to ask for help without groveling or demanding. We do not need to impress God, nor do we need to treat our desires as all-important. We simply express our sincere desire to be freed from the excess baggage that blocks our spiritual awareness and disrupts our relationships. Whether we pray quietly, write our thoughts in a journal, or speak from the heart, we calmly state our request and trust God's timing and wisdom.
Shortcomings as Roadblocks and Hidden Assets
In Step Seven, we reframe how we view our shortcomings. Rather than viewing our flaws as unforgivable sins or permanent marks of shame, we come to see them as temporary roadblocks or blocks within us that keep us from reaching our full potential and distance us from our Higher Power.
Furthermore, Al-Anon literature gently reminds us that many of our shortcomings hide underlying assets. For example, a tendency toward harsh judgment can be transformed into sound discernment when freed from self-righteousness, and a former obsession with controlling others can be redirected into genuine care for ourselves. As our Higher Power removes the destructive edge of these traits, the positive assets beneath are allowed to shine through.
Practicing Positive Alternatives in Daily Life
While we rely on our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings, Step Seven also encourages us to participate actively in our ongoing recovery. We do this by catching ourselves when old, self-defeating habits arise and consciously choosing positive alternatives.
When we notice ourselves slipping into criticism, sarcasm, or reaction, we can picture a big stop sign in our minds and use simple program slogans like "Think" or "Easy Does It" to pause before acting. Step Seven teaches us to laugh fondly at our humanness rather than demanding immediate perfection. By pairing our prayers with patient, constructive action, we clear away the inner corrosion of the past and step securely into a life of lasting balance and serenity.