Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Having taken a searching and fearless moral inventory in Step Four and admitted the exact nature of our wrongs in Step Five, we arrive at Step Six. Step Six states that we "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character".
For many of us in Al-Anon, Step Six serves as a crucial bridge between self-awareness and actual spiritual transformation. In the previous Steps, we uncovered aspects of our thinking and behavior that needed change—patterns like obsession, people-pleasing, resentment, or a desperate need to control. It is natural at this point to want to rush forward, grab hold of our shortcomings, and force them to disappear through sheer willpower. Yet, Step Six asks nothing about changing ourselves or making our own defects go away. Instead, it reminds us that we are powerless to remove our defects by our own efforts alone, inviting us into a trusting partnership with a Power greater than ourselves.
The Paradox of Character Defects as Former Survival Skills
To become entirely ready to let go of our character defects, we must first understand how they developed in our lives. In Al-Anon, we learn to view our shortcomings with gentleness rather than self-condemnation. Many of the negative traits we uncovered in our inventory—such as secrecy, hyper-vigilance, denial, or rigid self-reliance—originally developed as essential survival mechanisms. Growing up or living alongside the unpredictable chaos of alcoholism, these behaviors protected us from painful realities and helped us function in an unstable environment.
Over time, however, these old survival skills outlived their usefulness. What once served as a shield against emotional pain became an obstacle to our personal growth and spiritual peace. An asset, such as a genuine desire to love and care for a family member, lost its healthy proportion and transformed into a desperate compulsion to manage and fix another person's life. Recognizing that our defects were often misguided attempts to protect ourselves allows us to move out of self-hatred. We see that we no longer need these outdated armor pieces to remain safe.
"Entirely Ready"—A Gentle Process of Willingness Over Self-Will
A central lesson of Step Six is that "readiness" is rarely a sudden, blinding flash of enlightenment; it is a gradual process that unfolds one day at a time. Few of us arrive at this Step completely unattached to our shortcomings. We often cling to familiar behaviors because they provide a sense of comfort, predictability, or temporary pleasure—even when we know they make our lives unmanageable.
When we catch ourselves falling back into old habits, like rehearsing arguments in our heads or obsessing over someone else's business, our initial instinct may be to berate ourselves or try to force our thoughts to change. We soon discover that trying to force self-improvement through self-will is just another attempt at control, and it inevitably fails. Paradoxically, readiness begins when we accept our limitations and acknowledge that we cannot heal ourselves.
Step Six simply asks us to cultivate willingness. When the pain of holding onto an old defense becomes greater than the fear of letting it go, we become truly open to change. Our job is not to fix ourselves, but to raise the blinds so that spiritual light can enter.
Facing the Fear of Change and Trusting the Process
It is completely normal to feel apprehensive as we prepare for our character defects to be removed. We may worry that if we let go of our controlling habits, our anger, or our emotional walls, there will be nothing left of us—as if we will end up full of empty holes or be left completely unprotected.
Al-Anon literature offers us comfort by clarifying that when God removes a defect of character, we do not lose our true identity. Instead, every defect that is cleared away reveals an underlying asset that was previously hidden beneath. When we let go of the compulsion to manage others, we make room for genuine compassion. When we release our obsessive fear, we uncover deep faith and peace.
Like the bark of a birch tree that peels away naturally as the tree expands and grows, our old defenses fall away when we are ready. We do not need to strip them off prematurely; we only need to stay willing and let the process unfold at its own pace.
Preparing the Heart for Spiritual Transformation
The core spiritual principles of Step Six are willingness, patience, humility, and trust. By practicing non-judgmental self-awareness, we align ourselves with the slogan "Let Go and Let God".
Step Six does not require immediate perfection or dramatic action. It is a quiet, internal commitment to cooperate with our Higher Power. By acknowledging that we need help, accepting ourselves as we are today, and expressing gratitude for our ongoing growth, we prepare our hearts for the healing work that follows. Unburdened by the need to manage our own transformation, we rest in the quiet assurance that when the time is right, our Higher Power will do for us what we could never accomplish on our own.