Conflict is minimized when we focus on our common problems and solutions and avoid divisive struggles over outside issues.
Why does Tradition Ten insist on avoiding divisive struggles over outside issues? Because conflict is minimized when we focus on our common problems and solutions. In a meeting, we have one common bond: the desire to recover from the effects of alcoholism. If we allow discussions of politics, current events, or religion to dominate, we lose our common purpose.
This principle is also applicable in my personal life. Conflict is minimized when I focus on my partner's positive efforts and our common goals, instead of their external choices or my differing opinions. The spiritual focus on the 'common' ground—our Steps and our Traditions—is the source of our strength and the key to our unity. Unity is maintained by what we choose to exclude, as much as what we choose to include.
When I feel friction with another person, I will mentally identify one core common goal or value we share. I will focus the conversation on that common ground rather than the divisive issue.
Today’s Reminder
The greatest tool for unity is the relentless focus on our shared mission.
Carry this peace in your pocket.
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Curated by members of the Al-Anon community for Daily Growth, LLC. Grounded in the Twelve Steps and the contemplative tradition of Al-Anon.