Individual freedom and belonging are both of enormous importance to our recovery as we help and are helped by each other.
I've been contemplating the tension between individual freedom and belonging. Before Al-Anon I sacrificed my individual freedom to belong – I contorted myself to fit what the family needed. I abandoned my own needs and wants and opinions to maintain connection. But the belonging I got through that sacrifice felt hollow.
Individual freedom and belonging are both of enormous importance to our recovery as we help and are helped by each other. This sentence captures something essential – I don't have to choose between freedom and belonging. I need both. And the program creates space for both.
In Al-Anon I'm free to work my own program at my own pace in my own way. No one can force me to do anything. I have complete autonomy. And simultaneously I belong to a fellowship that helps me and that I help. The belonging doesn't require me to abandon my freedom. The freedom doesn't isolate me from belonging.
This balance is what I've been seeking my whole life – to be fully myself and fully connected. To have individual freedom and genuine belonging. Recovery makes both possible.
Practice
When I feel tension between being myself and being part of the group, I can remember: I don't have to choose. The program creates space for both individual freedom and belonging. I can honor my own pace and preferences while staying connected to the fellowship.
Today’s Reminder
I need both freedom and belonging not one or the other.
