Al-Anon daily reflection ·

The Mask of Ego

Despite sincere efforts, we are not always able to separate God’s will from our own, but we can strive for improvement.

I am a master at dressing up my own will and calling it God's will. 'I feel led to tell you...' often really means 'I want to fix you.' I can convince myself that my manipulative plan is actually a divine inspiration because it leads to a 'good' result (sobriety, peace, order). But if the root of the action is fear or control, it isn't God's will, no matter how righteous it looks.

Separating the two is a daily struggle. The best litmus test I've found is the anxiety level. My will usually comes with a sense of urgency, tightness, and a need for a specific outcome. God's will usually comes with a sense of calm, clarity, and openness to timing. I can't always do it perfectly, but striving for improvement means pausing to check my motives. Am I trying to be the Higher Power, or am I listening to the Higher Power?

Practice

When I feel a 'spiritual nudge' to do something for someone else today, I can pause and ask: 'If I do this, and they don't appreciate it or change, will I be resentful?' If the answer is yes, it's likely my will, not God's. I will wait until my motive is cleaner.

Today’s Reminder

Urgency is usually the ego in disguise.

More on self-awareness

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Written by people with lived experience of someone else’s drinking who practice the Twelve Step program of recovery. Published by Daily Growth, LLC.

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