Inventorying Beliefs

My sponsor suggested I inventory my beliefs, not just my behaviors. I didn't see the point until she pushed me to try it.

I sat down one Saturday morning to read a book and found myself physically unable to relax. There was a buzzing, skin-crawling feeling that I should be cleaning, organizing, managing someone else's schedule. I felt lazy and worthless for sitting still.

When I wrote it out, I found the instruction I'd been following my whole life: I believed my worth is equal to my productivity. I'd been running on that program since childhood without ever questioning it.

Seeing it on paper, it looked like what it was — an opinion I'd inherited, not a fact. I wasn't lazy for resting. I was challenging a belief system that had never served me. I thought this was just how it was. Turns out it was something I learned. And learned things can be unlearned.

Sit in a chair for twenty minutes today with no electronics, books, or distractions. Stay in the seat for the full duration even if you feel a strong urge to be productive.