Listening with Respect

Learning to listen respectfully to people I disagree with or don't particularly like has been one of the hardest aspects of the program. My instinct is to dismiss opinions that differ from mine, to tune out people who rub me wrong, to surround myself only with those who think like me. But the program asks something more difficult: respectful listening even to opposition.

At business meetings, I practiced this. Someone would propose something I thought was completely wrong. My immediate reaction was to prepare my counterargument, to get defensive, to shut down. But I made myself listen. Really listen. Not just wait for my turn to talk, but try to understand their perspective, their concerns, their reasoning. Sometimes I still disagreed—but I understood why they thought differently.

This practice of respectful listening has grown me in tolerance more than almost anything else. I don't have to agree with everyone. But I do need to respect that they have perspectives formed by experiences I haven't had. Their view is as valid to them as mine is to me. We can disagree and both be right from our own perspectives.

Tolerance doesn't mean accepting everything or having no boundaries. It means holding space for difference, listening with respect even to those I oppose or dislike, believing that multiple viewpoints can coexist. This has made me a better member of the fellowship and a more generous person in all my relationships.