Courtesy as Amends

The biggest amend I owe to the world is for the impatience and self-centeredness I brought to every public interaction. Before Al-Anon, everyone outside my immediate circle was a barrier, an inconvenience, or a threat. I drove aggressively, spoke sharply to customer service, and assumed the worst of others. My actions in traffic or line at the grocery store were a constant, low-grade assault on my own peace.

The counsel to simply start driving with more caution and courtesy showed me that I didn't need a grand gesture to mitigate past behavior. I needed a million small acts of changed behavior. Courtesy, then, becomes a daily, living amend. The payoff is immediate: I create a bubble of peace around myself wherever I go, which is exactly what my alcoholism-driven chaos stole from me for years. It is my internal serenity project played out in public.

When I get in my car or stand in line today, I will take three deep breaths and repeat, 'I am an emissary of courtesy.' I will actively let one person in front of me in traffic or thank one service worker with sincere eye contact.