Al-Anon daily reflection ·

The End of Justification

Suddenly I realized when I find myself making excuses and trying to justify what I have done, it is time to practice the Tenth Step and simply say, 'I’m sorry.'

Paths to Recovery, p. 105

My old pattern was to justify my bad behavior. If I snapped at someone, I’d spend ten minutes explaining how stressed I was, how tired I was, or how they had provoked me. This elaborate defense mechanism was my ego's way of avoiding the simple truth: I was wrong. The moment I started building excuses, I was resisting Step Ten.

The quote highlights the profound simplicity of the solution: when I find myself justifying, it's time to stop and simply say, 'I'm sorry.' This costs me the satisfaction of being logically correct, but it buys me immediate spiritual freedom. The realization is that the truth needs no defense. When I drop the excuses and offer the simple amend, I put my recovery principle above my ego's pride. That simple apology is the entire Tenth Step in one action.

Practice

Today, if I catch myself making an excuse for a poor action, I will interrupt my own thought process, drop the justification, and practice saying the simple words: 'I was wrong. I apologize.' and stop talking.

Today’s Reminder

My apology begins where my excuses end.

More on responsibility

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Written by people with lived experience of someone else’s drinking who practice the Twelve Step program of recovery. Published by Daily Growth, LLC.

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