Because we have experienced the pain caused by our shortcomings, we do not want to return to them.
The pain caused by my shortcomings—the arguments, the sleepless nights, the anxiety—was once a chronic condition. Step Ten gives me a powerful incentive to avoid returning to those old behaviors: the memory of that pain. I don't avoid the defect because I'm suddenly perfect; I avoid it because I know exactly how much it costs me.
I've heard insanity described as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Step Ten asks me to keep looking honestly at my own conduct. When I notice the urge to control or insist on being right, I can ask: What am I expecting to be different this time? Remembering where a familiar reaction leads can help me pause before repeating it. I don't need to dwell on past mistakes to learn from them. My pain becomes my teacher, not my jailer.
Practice
When I am tempted to act on an old defect (like seeking control), I will pause and mentally review the three worst consequences that action has caused in the past. I will use the memory of that pain to choose the better, though harder, path.
Today’s Reminder
Different behaviors can bring new sanity.
