We discover that it is a relief not to feel we always have to be right.
My addiction to being right used to be a full-time job. I would argue, defend, and exhaust myself to prove a point, not because I cared about the issue, but because I needed the validation of 'correctness' to feel secure. This defect poisoned my relationships and destroyed my peace. Step Ten brings the profound relief of discovering that I don't always have to be right.
Letting go of this need is a major spiritual gain. It frees up enormous amounts of mental energy. It costs me the fleeting, brittle high of winning an argument, but it rewards me with freedom from having to win this argument. We can disagree, each still thinking we're right, without either of us needing to convince the other. I can now listen, concede a point, or simply stay silent, knowing that my value does not depend on my intellectual superiority. I am safe regardless of who wins the debate.
Practice
If I disagree with someone today, I will notice when explaining my view turns into trying to make them accept it. I can let them know where I stand and allow the disagreement to remain.
Today’s Reminder
The most profound relief in recovery is realizing that my peace is more valuable than being right.
