Becoming Entirely Ready

This morning, as I reread Step Six with my usual cup of coffee, the words "entirely ready" just slammed into me. Not mostly ready, not ready for the easy stuff, but entirely ready for all my defects to be removed. My gut reaction was a hard, cold "no." It felt utterly impossible, and I couldn't quite put my finger on why this specific word was tripping me up so much. But then I looked closer at the word that precedes it: "became."

"Became entirely ready" isn't a sudden, flipping-a-switch kind of readiness. It implies a process, a journey that has been unfolding, perhaps even without my full awareness. The terrifying idea of being entirely ready right this moment began to soften. While absolute readiness felt like an impossibly high bar, the notion that I was already in the process of becoming ready —that my continuous work in Al-Anon contributed to this state—offered a breath of relief. It felt like an ideal to strive for, knowing the path itself was part of getting there. If I am becoming, then I don't have to be perfect right now.

This shift in perspective let me see that my controlling behavior, perfectionism, and isolation weren't just bad habits to be instantly discarded. They were deeply ingrained survival tools developed over decades. Becoming ready meant facing the terrifying unknown of who I am when those familiar tools are gone, and acknowledging that this process of becoming ready is itself a form of courage.