Al-Anon daily reflection ·

No Longer Overly Supportive

I no longer have to be overly supportive of anyone else – spiritually, emotionally, physically or financially.

Paths to Recovery, p. 189

I've been examining my pattern of being overly supportive. I give money I can't afford to give. I provide emotional support that drains me completely. I sacrifice my own wellbeing to prop up others. I thought this was being a good person. But my sponsor pointed to Tradition Six and asked: Is this actually helping them or just enabling?

I no longer have to be overly supportive of anyone else – spiritually emotionally physically or financially. No longer have to. This permission is revolutionary. I don't have to give beyond my capacity. I don't have to support others at the expense of my own wellbeing. I don't have to be spiritually emotionally physically or financially depleted to prove I care.

Overly supportive – that word overly is crucial. Some support is healthy. Overly means beyond what's sustainable beyond what's actually helpful. It means sacrificing myself in ways that hurt both of us. Them because they don't learn to rely on their own resources and God. Me because I'm exhausted resentful depleted.

Tradition Six gives me permission to set limits on my support. To preserve myself while still caring about others.

Practice

When someone asks for support that would deplete me spiritually, emotionally, physically, or financially, I can say no. Tradition Six gives me permission. I don't have to be overly supportive to prove I care. Healthy boundaries protect both of us from the enabling that overly supportive creates.

Today’s Reminder

I can care without being overly supportive.

More on boundaries

Explore further

Written by people with lived experience of someone else’s drinking who practice the Twelve Step program of recovery. Published by Daily Growth, LLC.

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