The Moment I Came to Believe

I can pinpoint the moment I came to believe—not in some abstract theological sense, but in the concrete sense that a Power greater than myself could actually restore me to sanity. I'd been attending meetings for months, listening to others' stories, staying skeptical. Then one day I found myself in a situation that would have destroyed me before Al-Anon.

The alcoholic relapsed after months of sobriety. Before the program, this would have sent me into complete despair, rage, obsessive crisis mode. But that day, I felt something different. I felt disappointed but not devastated. I felt sad but not responsible. I called my sponsor, went to a meeting, turned it over to my Higher Power. And I got through it without falling apart.

That's when I came to believe. Not because I had some spiritual epiphany or theological insight, but because I experienced concrete evidence that something had changed in me. A Power greater than myself—my Higher Power, the program, the fellowship—had restored me to saner responses than I could have managed on my own. I had proof, not faith in theory but faith from experience.

Now when doubt creeps in, I return to that moment. I remember the person I was before, the person I am now, and the Power that made the difference. That lived experience is more convincing than any amount of philosophical argument.