One at a Time
We often have to take one problem or person at a time and work on turning that one thing over to our Higher Power.
I thought surrender was supposed to be dramatic. One and done. One moment where I released everything to God and floated away free. Instead I'd lie in bed at night with every worry spinning at once — his drinking, the mortgage, my father's health, my best friend's silence — and try to hand all of it over in one breath. It was like trying to carry twelve grocery bags in a single trip. Everything kept falling.
My sponsor laughed when I told her this. 'Pick one,' she said. 'Just one. Turn that over tonight and let the rest wait until tomorrow.'
So I picked the mortgage. Just the mortgage. I said to God, 'I don't know how to fix this, and I'm giving it to you tonight.' And something in my chest loosened — not everything, but enough to sleep.
That's how surrender actually works for me. Not the grand gesture but the specific one. This problem, this person, this fear — handed over, one at a time. Some nights I only manage one. Some nights one is enough.
Tonight before bed, I can name one specific worry out loud and hand it to my Higher Power. Just one. The rest can wait.
