The Hardest Amends
Along the way, I needed to make amends for damage I had done to myself.
The very last amends on my list were the ones I feared most: not because the people were difficult, but because the damage was deep and structural, requiring lifelong change. I realized that my most important amends were the ones that couldn't be satisfied with a single conversation. They required a sustained, consistent effort to live by the spiritual principles of the program.
I cannot fix everything I broke, but I can honor the principles of Step Nine by becoming a person who no longer creates that kind of breakage. The ongoing amend is the daily choice to be considerate, to be honest, and to be present. I trust that this quiet dedication is seen by my Higher Power and felt by those I love. The end of Step Nine is the beginning of continuous, living repair.
I will identify one specific, chronic pattern of self-sabotage (e.g., procrastination, negative self-talk). Today, I will actively choose the opposite action (e.g., start the task, offer a kind word to myself) as a daily, ongoing amend.
