The Purpose of Cleansing
The real purpose of this Step was to cleanse me. If people could accept my amends, of course I felt good about it, but I still needed to realize that acceptance came in God’s time, not in mine.
I once saw Step Nine as the final hurdle—a necessary task to 'get over with' so I could finally feel good. But that perspective was purely self-centered. The real purpose of this Step was to cleanse me, to clear the spiritual channel between myself and my Higher Power. It was about creating space for grace.
If people accepted my amends, of course I felt good, but that was a bonus, not the goal. The goal was to remove the guilt and barrier I had placed between myself and the light. The deeper spiritual work is realizing that God's acceptance and timing are what truly matter. I am cleansed by the action itself, by the humility and honesty required. If I perform the action with clean intention, the spiritual consequence is assured, regardless of the human response.
I will sit in quiet meditation today and reflect on one recent amend. I will focus not on the person's reaction, but on the feeling of lightness or peace the action brought to my spirit. I will thank my Higher Power for the cleansing.
