Acceptance in God's Time
Whether someone accepted or rejected my amends was none of my business.
I remember the overwhelming relief after making a particularly difficult financial amend. I wanted the immediate emotional reward of the other person saying, 'Thank you, I forgive you.' Instead, I got a cool, business-like receipt. My ego was crushed. I felt like the hard work hadn't counted.
I had to learn that whether someone accepted or rejected my amends was none of my business. My business was my integrity. Their acceptance comes in God’s time, not mine. The spiritual cost here is relinquishing the need for immediate gratification and external validation. The vulnerability is accepting that my best effort might still be met with skepticism. But when I let go of the result, I free myself from their reaction. My recovery rests on my action, not their response.
When I worry about a future conversation, I can write down three sentences: 'I will do my part. I cannot control their response. I leave the result to God.' I will read this before and after the interaction.
