Courtesy as Amends
If we cut someone off in traffic, it is probably better to start driving with more caution and courtesy than to chase down the other driver and apologize.
The biggest amend I owe to the world is for the impatience and self-centeredness I brought to every public interaction. Before Al-Anon, everyone outside my immediate circle was a barrier, an inconvenience, or a threat. I drove aggressively, spoke sharply to customer service, and assumed the worst of others. My actions in traffic or line at the grocery store were a constant, low-grade assault on my own peace.
The counsel to simply start driving with more caution and courtesy showed me that I didn't need a grand gesture to mitigate past behavior. I needed a million small acts of changed behavior. Courtesy, then, becomes a daily, living amend. The payoff is immediate: I create a bubble of peace around myself wherever I go, which is exactly what my alcoholism-driven chaos stole from me for years. It is my internal serenity project played out in public.
When I get in my car or stand in line today, I will take three deep breaths and repeat, 'I am an emissary of courtesy.' I will actively let one person in front of me in traffic or thank one service worker with sincere eye contact.
