The Immediate Stop
We can then take responsibility immediately for our part, if only by stopping in the moment to acknowledge the problem and ask ourselves what we can do differently.
Before Al-Anon, if I caused a problem, I would either try to cover it up or blame someone else. Both reactions amplified the chaos. Step Ten provides the immediate solution: Stop. Stopping is the most powerful spiritual action I can take in the moment of error. It requires humility to acknowledge the problem and courage to ask myself what I can do differently right now.
This immediate responsibility costs me my ego's pride and the satisfying rush of justification. But the payoff is that I cut the chain of cause-and-effect instantly. I prevent a small emotional misstep from escalating into a full-blown spiritual crisis. By taking responsibility immediately for my small part, I learn to be present, humble, and quickly correctable.
If a plan or conversation goes awry today, I will stop talking for five seconds. I will then verbally acknowledge my part: 'I realize I may have contributed to this by...' and suggest one immediate, corrective action.
