The Emergency Brake
Members share that they find three types of inventory useful: a spot check, a daily check-in and a periodic long-term check.
The text comes in and rage floods my body instantly. My hands shake. My chest tightens. I'm already composing the furious response in my head, already rehearsing the argument, already accelerating toward the cliff edge where I'll say something I can't take back.
This is when the Spot Check isn't a homework assignment—it's the emergency brake. In the middle of the heat, in the split second before I hit send, I pause: What am I feeling? Where is this coming from? Is this really about the text, or am I reacting to something older, deeper, unresolved?
The physical sensation of the pause is intense. My body wants to act, to discharge the adrenaline, to fight. Stopping mid-acceleration feels dangerous, wrong, like I'm letting them 'win.' But the Spot Check isn't about winning—it's about not driving off the cliff.
Al-Anon is teaching me that the pause is survival. In the moment of high heat—rage in traffic, panic at a message—the Spot Check gives me one breath of space between stimulus and response. That breath is where my power lives. That's where I choose whether to react or respond, whether to crash or course-correct.
When I feel rage or panic rising, I can pause for one breath before I act. I can ask: What am I really feeling? Is this reaction proportional to what's happening now, or am I reacting to something older? Can I take one physical breath before I hit send, before I speak, before I act—and notice if that pause changes everything?
