Declining Every Invitation to Argue

Al-Anon has no opinion on outside issues. We don't debate politics, religion, or controversial topics because taking sides destroys unity. We protect our fellowship by refusing to be drawn into public controversy.

But I need to apply this to the alcoholic's chaos. I don't need to have an opinion on every crisis they create. I don't need to weigh in on every bad decision, every relapse, every drama. Having 'no opinion' isn't apathy—it's the preservation of my serenity.

The silent treatment gets a bad reputation, but there's a healthy version: I can decline to attend every argument I'm invited to. When they try to pull me into controversy—'What do you think about what I did?' 'Whose side are you on?'—I can practice the sacred phrase: 'I don't have an opinion on that.' Not because I don't care, but because their issue is outside my purpose.

Al-Anon is teaching me that having no opinion on their choices is the secret to preserving the unity of my own sanity. When I refuse to be drawn into their controversies, I protect my spiritual aim. I can love them without litigating every decision. I can care without campaigning. The unity I'm protecting isn't between us—it's the unity within myself, the wholeness that survives only when I stop fragmenting myself over every crisis they create.

If a controversial topic arises in conversation today, I will practice saying: 'That's interesting, but I'm trying to focus my energy on things I can control.' I will then mentally return to my own side of the street.