Spiritual Dry Spells
Improving or making a conscious contact with God is not always simple and at times the path may seem rocky or uneven.
There are days when I sit to pray and feel absolutely nothing. The sky feels like brass; the words feel hollow. My old instinct is to panic—to think I've lost my recovery or that God has abandoned me. I double down on effort, trying to force a spiritual experience, which only leads to frustration. I forget that relationships have rhythms. We aren't always in a state of intense connection.
Step Eleven is a discipline, not just a feeling. It's about showing up when I don't feel like it. The 'rocky path' reminds me that my faith is not a mood. Some of my deepest growth has happened during these dry spells, because that's when I have to decide: Do I trust God, or do I only trust my feeling of God? Continuing to seek conscious contact when the signal is weak is a profound act of faith. It proves I am committed to the relationship, not just the high.
If I feel disconnected today, I can simply acknowledge it in my prayer. 'God, I feel distant from you today, but I am here.' I will accept this honesty as a valid form of prayer, rather than trying to manufacture a fake emotion.
