Keeping It Simple
In Al-Anon some begin with simple prayers, such as the Serenity Prayer or 'not my will, but thine be done.'
I used to think spiritual maturity meant complex, poetic prayers. If I wasn't eloquent, I surely wasn't being heard. This perfectionism was just another disguise for my low self-esteem; I felt I had to perform for God just like I performed for the alcoholic—walking on eggshells, trying to say the right thing to prevent an explosion or gain approval.
Now, my most powerful prayers are often one word: 'Help.' Or 'Thanks.' Or sometimes just an exhausted sigh. Step Eleven isn't about vocabulary; it's about vulnerability. When I strip away the fancy language, I am left with my raw truth. There is immense relief in realizing that my Higher Power understands the language of my heart better than the language of my tongue. I don't need to dress up my pain for it to be valid. The simplicity of 'Thy will be done' cuts through the mental gymnastics I use to justify my controlling behavior.
I can choose a single word or short phrase to be my 'anchor prayer' for the day (e.g., 'Peace,' 'Enough,' or 'Guide me'). Whenever I feel my stress rising, I will pause and repeat this word three times slowly, letting it replace the spinning thoughts.
