God is Patient
We learn not to be too hard on ourselves and discover, much to our relief, that our loving Higher Power waits patiently for a renewed contact.
I often project my own impatience onto God. I assume my Higher Power is tapping a foot, waiting for me to get my act together, annoyed by my constant relapses into fear. I feel like I have to apologize for coming back to the same issue for the hundredth time. 'Sorry, God, it's me again with the same resentment.'
But this quote assures me that my Higher Power waits patiently. There is no quota on how many times I can start over. The relief of discovering this is immense. It melts the shame that keeps me hiding. If God isn't mad at me, maybe I don't have to be mad at me either. I can just return. The door is never locked; I'm the only one who keeps hesitating to turn the handle.
I can approach my prayer time today without an apology. Instead of starting with 'I'm sorry I haven't prayed,' I will start with 'I'm glad to be back.' I will focus on the welcome, not the absence.
