The Safety of Anonymity
Anonymity assures newcomers that Al-Anon meetings are a safe place.
Anonymity isn't just about not using last names; it's the spiritual foundation of trust. Before Al-Anon, my home was a place of secrets, but no privacy. Everyone knew our business because I vented to anyone who would listen, trying to get validation for my suffering. Yet, I was terrified of being truly known.
In the rooms, anonymity creates a container strong enough to hold our shame. Knowing that what I say stays there allows me to bring the dark, rotting parts of my life into the light. If I fear gossip, I will keep my mask on, and I cannot heal while wearing a mask. Practicing anonymity also means I protect the dignity of the alcoholic. I don't air their laundry to make myself look like the martyr. I learn to distinguish between getting support and violating privacy. This respect creates a safety that I never had growing up.
I can examine my conversations today. When I share about my life, am I sharing my experience, or am I telling someone else's story? I will practice speaking only from my own perspective ('I felt hurt when...') rather than reporting on others ('He did this...').
