The Power Inside
Meditation is quietly listening and focusing on the Power of God that is inside of me.
I spent years looking for power outside myself—in the approval of others, in the mood of the alcoholic, in the state of my bank account. If things outside were calm, I was calm. If they were chaotic, I was a wreck. I was a thermometer, reflecting the temperature of the room, rather than a thermostat regulating myself.
Step Eleven points me inward. The Power is inside of me. This is radical news. It means I carry my serenity with me, independent of my surroundings. I don't have to wait for the alcoholic to get sober to be okay. I don't have to wait for the storm to pass to find shelter. Accessing this power requires the quiet discipline of listening. It's there, but it's often buried under layers of codependent panic. Meditation is the shovel I use to dig it out.
I can visualize a 'core of peace' located physically in my chest. When I am in a chaotic environment today, I will touch my chest with my hand to physically remind myself: 'The power is in here, not out there.' I will breathe into that space.
