Acceptance Despite Wrongs

I've been terrified to do Step Five because I believe once someone knows the truth about me they won't be able to accept me. They'll see my character defects and judge me. They'll hear about my mistakes and decide I'm not worth their time. The fear of rejection has kept me from sharing for months.

Many of us feel a sense of relief as we feel the acceptance and love offered despite our wrongs. Despite. Not because I've earned it or because my wrongs aren't that bad but despite them. The acceptance comes not from being perfect but from being honestly imperfect.

This is hard for me to believe. I've spent my life trying to earn acceptance through perfectionism and people-pleasing. The idea that someone could accept me despite knowing my wrongs feels too good to be true. But that's what Step Five offers – acceptance I don't have to earn just by being willing to be known.

When fear of rejection keeps me from doing Step Five, I can remember: the acceptance comes despite my wrongs, not because I've hidden them well. I can trust that the person hearing my Fifth Step has their own wrongs and knows what it means to be imperfectly human.