Helped and Helping
Individual freedom and belonging are both of enormous importance to our recovery as we help and are helped by each other.
I've been reflecting on how recovery works. Early on I was just receiving – I came to meetings desperate for help. I listened. I took. I absorbed everything anyone offered. I couldn't imagine having anything to give back. I was too broken too new too messed up to help anyone else.
Individual freedom and belonging are both of enormous importance to our recovery as we help and are helped by each other. The helping and being helped – it's not sequential. I don't get helped first and then help others later. It happens simultaneously. Even when I thought I had nothing to offer my presence at meetings helped someone. My willingness to be vulnerable helped someone feel less alone.
And now I see clearly: I'm helped and helping at the same time. When I sponsor someone I'm helping them and being helped by the questions they ask. When I share at meetings I'm helping someone hear what they need and being helped by the clarity that comes from speaking truth out loud. The helping and being helped are inseparable.
This is how belonging works in recovery. Not one-directional charity but mutual support. We help and are helped by each other continuously.
I can notice today how I'm both helping and being helped simultaneously. When I share at a meeting I'm offering help and receiving clarity. When I listen to someone's struggle I'm being helped by their honesty. The mutuality is constant – I don't have to wait until I'm 'better' to help others.
