Not All By Myself

Before Al-Anon I was convinced I had to handle everything alone. The alcoholic's drinking – I'd manage it. The family chaos – I'd contain it. My own recovery – I'd figure it out myself. Asking for help felt like admitting defeat. I thought self-sufficiency was strength.

I recognized I could not make the program work all by myself. This recognition was humbling and liberating at the same time. Humbling because I'd been so invested in doing everything alone. Liberating because it meant I didn't have to anymore. The program isn't designed for solo work. It requires connection participation community.

Step Five makes this undeniably clear. I literally cannot do this Step by myself. I need another person to listen. I need my Higher Power's presence. I need the fellowship's wisdom about how to approach it. Every aspect of Step Five requires me to abandon the illusion of self-sufficiency.

And this requirement isn't a flaw in the program's design – it's the point. Recovery happens in connection not isolation. I can't make the program work all by myself because I'm not supposed to.

When I catch myself trying to handle everything alone, I can remember Step Five proved I need others. I can reach out for help with whatever I'm facing today – not because I'm weak, but because the program works through connection not isolation.