Sharing With God
Admitting to God meant sharing with my Higher Power something that I did that caused harm to someone else.
I used to think I could hide things from God. Not consciously – I knew intellectually that God knew everything. But emotionally I operated as if I could keep secrets from my Higher Power. As if God only saw what I showed deliberately. As if I could present a curated version of myself even in prayer.
Admitting to God meant sharing with my Higher Power something that I did that caused harm to someone else. This simple definition clarified what I'd been avoiding. Admitting to God isn't just acknowledging God's existence or asking for help. It's specifically sharing with God the things I've done that caused harm. The things I'm ashamed of. The things I'd rather hide.
This kind of honesty with God feels vulnerable in a different way than honesty with a person. God already knows – so what's the point of admitting? But the admission changes me. Speaking it out loud to God makes it real. I can't minimize or rationalize or pretend anymore. I've said it out loud to the Power that knows everything.
I can practice the God portion of Step Five by speaking one thing out loud to my Higher Power that I've been hiding or minimizing. Not just thinking about it – actually saying the words. The admission to God makes it real in a way that silent acknowledgment doesn't.
