One at a Time
We often have to take one problem or person at a time and work on turning that one thing over to our Higher Power.
Before Step Three I thought surrender meant turning everything over at once in some grand spiritual gesture. I imagined a moment when I would release my grip on all my worries problems and people in one sweeping act of faith. When I couldn't do that – and I couldn't – I felt like a failure at recovery.
Learning to take one problem or person at a time changed everything. I didn't have to accomplish total surrender before breakfast. I could work on turning over my anxiety about money today and maybe tomorrow I'd work on my worry about my sister's drinking. One thing one Higher Power one day.
This practice feels less dramatic than wholesale surrender but it's actually more effective. When I try to turn everything over at once I'm often performing rather than surrendering. But when I take one specific problem – this phone call I'm dreading this resentment I'm holding this person I'm trying to control – and work on releasing just that something real happens.
I keep a running list now of what I'm actively working to turn over. Sometimes the same items appear repeatedly. That's okay. One problem at a time is slow work but it's the work that actually changes me.
Today I can choose one worry one problem one person and practice releasing just that.
