Accepting Al-Anon as It Is

Accepting Al-Anon as it is helps me to accept myself where I am. This connection wasn't obvious to me at first. What did my self-acceptance have to do with accepting Al-Anon? But the parallel runs deep. Both require releasing idealized versions and embracing reality.

I used to wish Al-Anon meetings were different. More structured or less structured. More focused on solutions or more open to feelings. More spiritual or less spiritual. I had opinions about what the perfect meeting would look like and frustration that actual meetings didn't match my vision.

But in trying to accept Al-Anon exactly as it is – imperfect diverse sometimes messy always human – I was learning to accept myself the same way. I couldn't demand that Al-Anon conform to my ideal while refusing to accept myself with all my flaws. The practice was the same: releasing the idealized version and embracing what actually is.

Now when I notice myself criticizing a meeting or wishing it were different I pause. This is an opportunity to practice acceptance. Al-Anon doesn't need to be perfect to be helpful. Neither do I. We're all works in progress – the program the meetings and me. Accepting that truth creates space for actual growth rather than the pursuit of an impossible ideal.

When I obsess over the problem, I am standing in the shadows. I will physically turn my chair or my body toward a window or light, reminding myself to turn my face toward the solution (God) and leave the shadows behind.