Any Concept I Wanted
In Al-Anon I learned I could have any concept of a Higher Power I wanted.
In Al-Anon I learned I could have any concept of a Higher Power I wanted. This permission felt revolutionary and slightly dangerous. What if I got it wrong? What if my concept wasn't valid? What if I chose something that didn't work? I'd been taught there was one right way to understand God and deviation meant error.
But Al-Anon offered freedom I'd never experienced. I could explore. I could question. I could try different understandings and see what resonated with my experience. I could keep what helped and release what didn't. My Higher Power could be personal to me rather than inherited from someone else.
This freedom invited authenticity. Instead of pretending to believe what I thought I should believe I could be honest about what I actually experienced as greater than myself. Instead of performing spirituality I could develop genuine relationship with whatever Power I understood to be available to help me.
Some days my concept is clear and comforting. Other days it's vague and uncertain. But the freedom to have my own understanding rather than conform to someone else's has been essential to my recovery. I needed permission to find a Higher Power I could actually trust rather than pretend to trust one I couldn't.
Today I can allow my concept of Higher Power to be authentically mine rather than someone else's.
