Comfortable Turning Over

I am comfortable turning my life and my will over to the God of my understanding. These words would have seemed impossible to me when I first came to Al-Anon. Comfortable? With surrender? How could giving up control ever feel comfortable? But that was before I understood what I was actually surrendering and who I was surrendering to.

Comfort came gradually through experience. Each time I turned something over and the world didn't end. Each time I released control and found things actually worked out better than when I was managing. Each time I trusted my Higher Power and discovered that trust was warranted. Small experiences built on each other until surrender began to feel less like loss and more like relief.

The comfort also came from getting to know my Higher Power better. The more I experienced this Power as loving helpful trustworthy the easier it became to entrust my life and will to that care. I wouldn't be comfortable turning things over to the punishing God I once believed in. But the God I've come to know through my own experience? That God I can trust.

Comfortable doesn't mean it's always easy. Some days surrender still feels hard. But I'm no longer fighting against the whole concept. I know from experience that turning my will and life over leads to freedom not bondage. That knowledge brings comfort even on difficult days.

Today I can notice where I've become more comfortable with surrender through repeated experience.