The Power of Choice

Before I found Al-Anon I didn't feel like I had choices. My life was a series of reactions to the alcoholic's behavior. When they drank I panicked. When they promised to quit I hoped desperately. When they broke promises I tried harder. I was on a treadmill I couldn't stop and the idea that I had choices seemed absurd.

Step Three changed everything by starting with decision. Not action not perfection but simply the acknowledgment that I could choose. I could choose to let go. I could choose to trust something beyond myself. I could choose differently than I had been choosing even if the circumstances stayed the same.

I still forget sometimes that I have choices. When crisis hits my old automatic responses kick in and I'm back on the treadmill. But now I have this truth to return to: I can decide. In this moment with this problem I can choose how I respond. The alcoholic may not have choices about their drinking but I have choices about everything I do.

Today I make small decisions all day long. To attend a meeting instead of monitoring someone else's behavior. To call my sponsor instead of rehearsing what I'll say to fix things. Each choice is an exercise in freedom.

Today I remember that having choices is the first step toward using them wisely.