Giving Up Self-Will

I've been contemplating what I'm actually letting go of in Step Six. At first I thought I was letting go of the character defects themselves – the controlling the people-pleasing the perfectionism. But that's not quite right. The defects are symptoms. What I'm really letting go of is deeper.

Letting go means giving up the struggle of our self-will and turning it over to God. Self-will – that's what I'm releasing. The belief that I can manage my own transformation through determination and effort. The conviction that willpower is enough to change my character. The struggle to fix myself without divine help.

Self-will is exhausting. I've been fighting against my own character defects for years trying to eliminate them through sheer force of will. And they keep coming back because I can't remove them myself. That's not how this works. Letting go of self-will means acknowledging I need help beyond my own resources. It means turning over even my own transformation to God's care.

This is what Step Three prepared me for. I turned my will and life over. Now in Step Six I turn over even my attempts to improve myself.

When I catch myself trying to remove character defects through willpower, I can recognize that's self-will. I can stop struggling and turn it over: God, I can't fix this myself. I give up the struggle. Please remove what I'm ready to release. The surrender is ongoing not one-time.