Not Giving Up
Letting go of all our defects does not mean giving up.
Yesterday I told my sponsor I was ready to let go of my need to control. She asked what that meant to me. I explained I was going to stop trying to manage everything stop having opinions about everyone's choices just give up and let whatever happens happen. She was quiet for a moment then said that doesn't sound like letting go – that sounds like giving up.
Letting go of all our defects does not mean giving up. This distinction is crucial. Giving up is passive and despairing. It says nothing matters so why bother. Letting go is active and hopeful. It says I can't do this alone but I trust God can. Giving up abandons responsibility. Letting go transfers it to a Higher Power who can actually handle it.
When I let go of controlling I'm not giving up on caring about outcomes. I'm releasing my death grip on trying to force specific outcomes through manipulation and management. When I let go of people-pleasing I'm not giving up on relationships. I'm releasing the exhausting attempt to control how people feel about me.
Letting go is an act of faith. Giving up is an act of despair. Step Six asks for the former not the latter.
If I'm confusing letting go with giving up, I can examine the difference. Giving up says nothing matters. Letting go says I can't control this but God can. When I want to give up in despair, I can redirect that energy toward active letting go with faith.
