The Silence After Surrender
Our slogan 'Let Go and Let God' is applicable to the completion of our work on this Step.
If I let go of controlling, who am I? If I stop obsessing over the alcoholic's choices, what do I think about? If I stop managing everyone's emotions, what fills my days? The terror isn't about God removing my defects—it's about the empty shell I fear I'll become.
I've organized my entire identity around my character defects. "I'm the one who fixes things. I'm the one who stays calm in a crisis. I'm the one who holds it all together." Strip those away, and what's left? A vast, silent void where my personality used to be. The thought of this emptiness feels utterly terrifying.
But to "Let Go and Let God" means trusting that this silence isn't permanent. Al-Anon is teaching me that the void is a sacred, temporary space. God doesn't remove defects to leave us empty; He clears the ground to make room for something authentic and new to grow. It’s an invitation to discover a truer, calmer self, replacing the old, frantic patterns with peace and presence.
When I feel the panic of "who am I without this defect," I can pause and ask: What if the silence is just space for something new to grow? Can I sit with the void for one day without filling it with old behaviors? Can I trust that God removes to make room, not to leave me empty?
