The Ones I Need
Step Six emphasizes that we become ready to release all, not just a few, of our defects of character.
Last week I was working on Step Six and I divided my character defects into two categories – the ones I'm ready to release and the ones I still need. I'm ready to let go of perfectionism because I can see how it exhausts me. But controlling? I need that. Without it I'd be helpless in the face of other people's chaos. People-pleasing? That keeps me safe from conflict. I need that too.
Step Six emphasizes that we become ready to release all not just a few of our defects of character. All. This confronts my selective readiness. But why am I clinging to certain defects? Because they're doing something for me. Controlling gives me the illusion that I can prevent disaster. People-pleasing lets me avoid the pain of disapproval. My tendency to isolate protects me from vulnerability and potential rejection.
These aren't just bad habits – they're survival strategies I developed in impossible situations. Being entirely ready means being willing to give up strategies that have kept me safe even if that safety was false. It means trusting that God will provide something better than the false safety of control or the brittle peace of people-pleasing.
I can't be selectively ready and claim I'm working Step Six. Entirely means even the ones I think I still need.
I can make two columns: defects I'm ready to release and defects I'm still clinging to. For the ones I'm clinging to, I write what they provide. Then I can pray specifically: God, help me trust You enough to let go of this false safety. I can't force readiness, but I can be honest about my resistance.
