The Release of Turning Over

Last night I finally prayed Step Seven on my need to control my adult daughter's choices. I'd been avoiding it because I knew what asking meant: surrendering my illusion that I can protect her by managing her decisions. After I prayed I felt physically lighter. Like I'd been carrying weight I could finally put down.

But here's what surprised me: the release wasn't just about the specific defect. It was about turning over my entire approach to the problem. Not just the controlling behavior, but also my ideas about how God should remove it, my timeline for when it should happen, my fear of who I'll be without it.

I'd been white-knuckling my recovery, trying to do Steps while still controlling outcomes. But Step Seven won't let me do both. I have to turn it over—the defect and my efforts to fix myself on my own terms. That complete turning over creates space to continue recovery confidently. Not because I'm doing it perfectly but because I've stopped trying to do it alone.

Today I will pray Step Seven on one defect, then consciously release my expectations about how and when it should be removed. I will say out loud: "I turn over both the defect and my need to control how you fix it."