The Strength I Misunderstood
Humility, the state of being humble, is often misunderstood; it is not a state of weakness, but of strength.
Before Al-Anon when someone suggested I needed humility I heard: make yourself small, accept mistreatment, believe you deserve whatever scraps you get. I'd spent years being humiliated by the disease of alcoholism - watching the alcoholic's behavior, feeling ashamed by association, shrinking myself to avoid conflict. The last thing I needed was more humiliation.
Humility the state of being humble is often misunderstood it is not a state of weakness but of strength. Not weakness but strength. This distinction saved me from rejecting Step Seven entirely. Humiliation diminished me. Humility right-sizes me. I'm not worthless and I'm not God. I'm human with limitations and that's not shameful - it's true. The strength of humility is being able to say I need help without feeling degraded by the need.
When I ask God humbly to remove my character defects I'm not groveling. I'm standing in honest self-knowledge: these defects are beyond my power to remove and I need divine help. That admission requires strength not weakness. It takes courage to stop pretending I can fix myself.
When shame creeps in as I pray, I can pause and say out loud: Humility isn't humiliation. I'm human and need help - that's strength not weakness. Then I can pray from that place instead of from shame.
