Stubborn Shortcomings
To change, we need to accept ourselves as we are, stubborn shortcomings and all.
Last night I looked at my character defects and felt overwhelmed by how stubborn they are. My people-pleasing has been with me for forty years. My perfectionism runs so deep I can't remember life without it. These aren't casual habits. They're deeply grooved patterns that have survived every attempt I've made to eliminate them through willpower.
To change we need to accept ourselves as we are stubborn shortcomings and all. Stubborn shortcomings and all. Not despite our stubborn shortcomings. Not after we fix them. As we are - with these deeply entrenched patterns still present. This acceptance seems contradictory when I'm asking God to remove them. But my sponsor explained: acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means acknowledging reality without self-hatred.
My people-pleasing is stubborn because it protected me in childhood chaos. My perfectionism is stubborn because it gave me control when everything felt out of control. Accepting myself with these stubborn patterns means having compassion for why they developed while still asking God to remove them. I'm not these shortcomings. I'm a person who developed stubborn survival strategies and now needs God's help to release them. That acceptance without contempt creates space for actual change.
I can write: My most stubborn shortcoming is [name it]. It's stubborn because it protected me when [why it developed]. I accept that I am a person who has this stubborn pattern. Then pray: God, I accept myself as I am and I ask You to remove what I cannot. Acceptance plus request equals cooperation.
