The Convincing Game
We are sure there must be something more we can say or do that will convince the alcoholic to stop drinking.
I spent years perfecting my arguments. If I could just find the right words, the perfect logic, the most moving emotional appeal – surely then the drinking would stop. I collected evidence, rehearsed speeches, and planned interventions. I was certain that somewhere in my vocabulary lived the magic phrase that would finally break through.
This belief gave me purpose but kept me trapped. Every failed conversation became proof that I simply hadn't been persuasive enough yet. I studied addiction, read books, consulted experts – all in service of building the ultimate case for sobriety. The drinking continued, but my faith in the power of my words remained stubbornly intact.
What I was really trying to do was control the uncontrollable through the sheer force of communication. I believed that if I could just explain clearly enough how the drinking affected me, affected us, affected everything – understanding would transform into action. But alcoholism doesn't respond to reason, no matter how well-crafted.
Letting go of this convincing game was devastating and liberating in equal measure. I had to admit that my words held no power over someone else's disease. But in that admission, I discovered what my words could do: they could tell my own truth, set my own boundaries, and begin my own recovery.
I will use my words to express my own truth and needs, rather than trying to convince someone else to change.
