My Actions Have No Power
We have to admit that our actions have no power over the disease of alcoholism.
The turning point came when I finally grasped this devastating truth: it made no difference what I did or didn't do. My best efforts, my most passionate arguments, my most sacrificial acts—they had no power over the core problem. This knowledge felt like a loss of identity, because my identity was built around being the indispensable fixer.
My admission of powerlessness was not a moral failing; it was a simple recognition of natural law. I am not a deity, and I cannot intervene in the relationship between another person and their disease. The payoff for clinging to the belief that I had power was feeling necessary; the cost was my entire life, spent in futile battle.
Accepting this truth freed me from the paralysis of indecision. I no longer agonize over the perfect thing to say or the perfect boundary to set. I choose the action that is healthiest and most congruent with my own values, and I release the outcome. My actions are now solely for my own recovery, not for changing someone else.
I can list three different things I have tried to do to control the outcome. Next to each, I will write the word ''No.'' I will read the list aloud to remind myself: my actions have no power over the disease.
