The Group as Higher Power

The whole God concept overwhelmed me. I'd had bad experiences with organized religion. The word 'God' triggered memories of judgment, shame, hypocrisy. I couldn't imagine returning to anything resembling the faith of my childhood. So when I heard Step Two mention God, I nearly walked out. This program wasn't for me.

Then someone explained I could use the group itself as my Higher Power. The collective wisdom and experience of Al-Anon members could be my Power greater than myself. That I could handle. I'd already seen the group had something I didn't—serenity, tools, understanding, hope. The group was definitely more powerful than my isolated, desperate self.

Using the group as my Higher Power gave me a concrete starting place. When I needed to turn something over, I could imagine the group holding it. When I needed guidance, I could ask the group. When I needed faith, I could borrow the group's collective belief until I developed my own. The group became my bridge to believing in something beyond myself.

Over time, my understanding evolved. The group led me to a deeper spiritual connection, a personal Higher Power I could trust. But I needed that beginning—that permission to start where I was, with the group as my Power greater than myself. It was enough to begin the journey toward belief.

If the concept of God troubles me, I can start with the group as my Higher Power. The collective wisdom and experience of Al-Anon is definitely greater than my isolated self. This is a valid starting point, and my understanding can evolve from there.