Resigning as General Manager
For our group purpose there is but one authority—a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants—they do not govern.
In Al-Anon meetings, we have no ultimate authority. Leaders are trusted servants who facilitate; they don't govern. No one person gets to decide what's best for everyone else. The group relies on a loving God expressed through group conscience, not a single voice dictating the way forward.
But if I don't govern the group, why am I trying to govern my family? Why do I believe I should be the ultimate authority on how my husband manages his recovery, how my daughter handles her finances, how my son navigates his relationships? When did I appoint myself General Manager of the Universe?
The relief of applying Tradition Two to my home is profound. I can serve my family—love them, support them, be present—without governing them. I can offer input without demanding compliance. I can express concern without requiring obedience. Serving doesn't mean controlling; it means showing up with love and letting go of outcomes.
Al-Anon is teaching me that being a trusted servant in my own home means resigning as the ultimate authority. I'm not God. I don't have all the answers. And trying to govern the people I love only isolates me from them. The freedom is in the resignation—stepping down from a position I was never meant to hold.
When I catch myself trying to control a family member's choices, I can pause and ask: Am I serving or governing? Can I offer support without demanding compliance? What if loving them well means resigning as the ultimate authority in their lives and trusting God to guide them—not me?
