Learning to Trust

I arrived at Al-Anon unable to trust anyone, including myself. Living with alcoholism had taught me that people lie, promises mean nothing, and anyone could betray you without warning. I'd also learned to distrust my own judgment—I'd been so wrong about so many things. I felt isolated in a world where no one and nothing was trustworthy, including me.

Gradually, very gradually, I learned I could trust people in Al-Anon. They showed up when they said they would. They called back when they promised. They shared honestly about their struggles without pretense. They kept what was shared in confidence. This consistent trustworthiness slowly rebuilt my capacity to trust. Not blind trust—I'd learned that lesson—but earned trust based on proven reliability.

But most important, I learned I could trust myself again. I could trust my perceptions—I wasn't crazy, I wasn't overreacting, the situation really was as chaotic as it seemed. I could trust my feelings—they were valid responses to real problems, not character defects. I could trust my own judgment about what I needed, what my boundaries were, what was right for me. That self-trust had been completely destroyed by the disease, and the program helped me rebuild it.

Learning to trust myself transformed my recovery. I could finally make decisions based on my own sense of what was right rather than always deferring to others' opinions. I had become a person I could trust.

I can trust myself today—my perceptions, my feelings, my judgment about what I need. Living with alcoholism may have taught me to doubt myself, but the program is helping me rebuild that essential self-trust. I can listen to my own inner wisdom.